STILL no restriction :(

This is what I have been dreading, but I never thought it would really happen to me. I have no restriction even after my fill, and I am back to square one AGAIN. I cannot restrain myself from eating what I want, when I want it, and I am hoping that maybe after my next fill it will make a difference. I am also considering going for counselling to get to the root of my problem, and find out why food is my addiction and why I have this addiction. I am almost completely consumed by food, thinking about what I am going to eat next, when I am going to eat it, and always thinking of excuses to eat. I am also always thinking about "WHEN I lose the weight..." and I have out my whole life on hold waiting for that to happen, and I cannot afford to waste anymore of my time on it. Life is precious and should be lived. I am intelligent enough to realize all these things but when it comes down to it, food wins all the time. I weighed myself last night and I have out back on 5lbs of what I had lost, but then every scales I stand on say a different thing. I know I have not lost anything significant and I am returning to work after eleven months off with a back injury on Tuesday.. and I am frustrated and annoyed that I have not achieved more in my time off. I know it takes many bandsters up till their third or fourth fill to have restriction, so I haven't lost all hope in the band, but maybe in myself if anything.
Maybe therapy, counselling, or hypnosis will help me beat my demons..
On a positive note we have just moved house again and I am so loving my new surroundings, it is having a really positive affect on my moods (not that you would know reading this!) but I do believe that your surroundings have a direct impact on your health and moods, so I am happy about that. It is also just ten minutes from a lovely castle with huge grounds overlooking the Irish sea so I intend to walk there a lot.
I know I have blogged before about HOW I am going to change and what little changes I am going to make to achieve my results, but I have only ever stuck to them for a few days at a time and then I relapse. Its as frustrating and embarrassing for me as any situation could be to think that I do not possess the self discipline and will power to better myself in this way.   But I am going to be optimistic, because the day that I cannot be optimistic is the day I give up on myself and I will NEVER do that. SO a new house, new job (well same job but new start!) so a clean slate.. for me. I am going to AIM to :
1) Drink two litres of water a day.
2) Walk for on hour in the castle everyday.
3)Eat no more than 1000 cals a day and PLAN my meals.
4) Take my multi vitamin everyday.
5) Get at least 8 hours sleep every night.

There is a direct link to lack of sleep and obesity, as when you are tired you eat to compensate for your energy loss. Makes sense really!  I hope I can get back here next week and report some positive news. As today is Sunday, I am officially making Sunday my weigh in day. Today I weigh in at 207lbs.. My goal for next Sunday is to weigh in at 200lbs. I am going to try and walk during my lunch break at work with my ipod and hopefully little changes like that will make the difference. And to anyone out there who think that by getting a lapband is "the easy option", I would say, think again. It is by no means the easy route, and I have yet to prove that it will work for me.

My first fill!

I had my first fill  today, and it was a wonderful day out :)) I went up to Upper Pembroke Street, where Dr Chris De Bruyne holds his monthly aftercare class. There was a huge table in the waiting room and we all sat around swapping stories and experiences, it was great. Then I went in to see my surgeons aid and he was soooooo nice I could have stayed in there all day talking to him if had let me. I got a mole removed off my face (all part of the big transformation..!) and he was so nice, giving me advice about it and everything. Then he weighed me and told me that according to his scales I am down 15lbs since surgery.. but I dont know if I trust his scales to be honest, I like my own!! So it wasnt sore getting it done, just a bit uncomfortable when he was pushing on my port. I asked him how many cc's are in a helioast evolution band and he said that they had been tested up to 20mls, so it was just case of how much I needed in mine. So I am on liquids for two days now but I am going to try and do ten days, because I am returning to work after being off with a bad back for almost 11 months and I want to have lost a bit more before I go back. All in all I am happy with how it went and it definitely has renewed my ambition for success. I am really happy I got this done now, as for the last two weeks I have almost felt like it was pointless. Happy bunny all round :))