49 lbs DOWN people!! 24 lbs TO GO!!!

Hi people, I am sorry I haven't been here in ages, but I actually got frustrated with my blog. Reading over and over again what I was "going to do" and never doing it, grew a bit old for me after a while. So I stopped blogging to try and stop embarrassing myself lol.. and guess what happen'd?? I lost 49lbs. It just dropped off!!! I had to go for many fills, every time I got a fill I would lose about 10lbs.. but the last time I went for a fill Frederik ( my insanely handsome surgeons aid) told my quite sternly that my 7cc band was actually .5 of a mil away from being full and that after that last fill I might only be able to get one more small fill and that would be it. You can imagine how freaked I was.. I had not lost NEARLY as much weight as I wanted to and after going through surgery, I began to feel like this was it. I was hitting the wall again. It wasn't going to happen this time either. He told me that to reach my goal weight I would HAVE to start exercising properly. I went home, a little bit freaked and a little bit determined I could turn this around. And do you know what? I did. That last fill was the fill that I needed to get my restriction. Everyone is different when it comes to this procedure, so if you have the band and you think you are failing, or it is going slower than you thought it would, breathe and refocus.
Now don't get me wrong.. I have also FINALLY changed my eating habits and my head is FINALLY thinking in smaller portions, but this is the one huge point that people considering this surgery need to recognize. This surgery will give you a smaller stoma, a smaller stomach and you WILL only be able to eat much less of what you ate before.. but it WILL NOT change your mind and how you think about food. Only YOU can do that. I still eat chocolate, I still drink wine. We still order Chinese or Indian every now or then. But NOW I only want maybe two squares of chocolate instead of two bars, and I will share ONE Chinese portion with my fiance.. without rice, or prawn crackers. I order Chicken Tandoori from the clay oven in the Indian, no rich creamy sauces or naan bread. I don't eat bread anymore anyway because it just fills me up and I need all the space I can get for my protein or veggies. Eggs are great, they are quick to make and are full of protein. I gave up sugar in my tea because it made me feel sick with the band. Crisps and chips don't go down either so I don't eat them anymore.. I always go for my protein first at a meal. There are some days that I really feel like I need to eat for nourishment and to try and get SOMETHING into me for breakfast I will have a cup of tea with my meal, it helps it go down. And so, here I am today. Iv lost 49lbs, I have achieved 66% of my goal, and I still have 8 weeks to go to my first year surgaversary ;) so maybe I will be down another bit by then. It has been the best thing I have ever done in my life and I would recommend to anyone. I ws reading back over earlier posts in this blog where I documented what Iate that day, and I was shocked. And that was when I was "watching what I ate"??? OMG. No wonder I needed a band. No sense of portion control at ALL!
This is only the beginning for me though to be honest, I never took those "before" pictures, because in my heart of hearts I never thought there would be an "after" picture. I didn't want to really let myself believe I could achieve this just in case I didn't and I had let myself down.. AGAIN. But now I can see how my body is changing and how good my clothes feel on me, and I want more. I want to lose that other 24lbs and I want to go THE WHOLE WAY, because now I think I can. No, sorry, NOW I KNOW I CAN!!! I want to get really fit and strong, toned and slightly muscular. I had the most amazing thing happen to me the other day, I bumped into this guy outside the vets office. we had a brief chat about the dogs etc and I thought he was a really nice genuine guy. As I drove off I saw his jeep with an advert on the side of it for personal training, and he only lives down the road from me. So I googled him and made an appointment. I am giving up the cigarettes in the new year t fund this so its all part of the plan. His site looks brilliant and he seems to be a bit of a genius.. second degree black belt in karate, personal trainer, martial arts expert and a diet and nutritionist to boot!! So hopefully, fingers crossed I can meet him and we can work together. This is where I am going now and this is how serious I am about it. Looking forward to the new year people and I will keep you all posted!!! ;) Fat kisses xxx

STILL no restriction :(

This is what I have been dreading, but I never thought it would really happen to me. I have no restriction even after my fill, and I am back to square one AGAIN. I cannot restrain myself from eating what I want, when I want it, and I am hoping that maybe after my next fill it will make a difference. I am also considering going for counselling to get to the root of my problem, and find out why food is my addiction and why I have this addiction. I am almost completely consumed by food, thinking about what I am going to eat next, when I am going to eat it, and always thinking of excuses to eat. I am also always thinking about "WHEN I lose the weight..." and I have out my whole life on hold waiting for that to happen, and I cannot afford to waste anymore of my time on it. Life is precious and should be lived. I am intelligent enough to realize all these things but when it comes down to it, food wins all the time. I weighed myself last night and I have out back on 5lbs of what I had lost, but then every scales I stand on say a different thing. I know I have not lost anything significant and I am returning to work after eleven months off with a back injury on Tuesday.. and I am frustrated and annoyed that I have not achieved more in my time off. I know it takes many bandsters up till their third or fourth fill to have restriction, so I haven't lost all hope in the band, but maybe in myself if anything.
Maybe therapy, counselling, or hypnosis will help me beat my demons..
On a positive note we have just moved house again and I am so loving my new surroundings, it is having a really positive affect on my moods (not that you would know reading this!) but I do believe that your surroundings have a direct impact on your health and moods, so I am happy about that. It is also just ten minutes from a lovely castle with huge grounds overlooking the Irish sea so I intend to walk there a lot.
I know I have blogged before about HOW I am going to change and what little changes I am going to make to achieve my results, but I have only ever stuck to them for a few days at a time and then I relapse. Its as frustrating and embarrassing for me as any situation could be to think that I do not possess the self discipline and will power to better myself in this way.   But I am going to be optimistic, because the day that I cannot be optimistic is the day I give up on myself and I will NEVER do that. SO a new house, new job (well same job but new start!) so a clean slate.. for me. I am going to AIM to :
1) Drink two litres of water a day.
2) Walk for on hour in the castle everyday.
3)Eat no more than 1000 cals a day and PLAN my meals.
4) Take my multi vitamin everyday.
5) Get at least 8 hours sleep every night.

There is a direct link to lack of sleep and obesity, as when you are tired you eat to compensate for your energy loss. Makes sense really!  I hope I can get back here next week and report some positive news. As today is Sunday, I am officially making Sunday my weigh in day. Today I weigh in at 207lbs.. My goal for next Sunday is to weigh in at 200lbs. I am going to try and walk during my lunch break at work with my ipod and hopefully little changes like that will make the difference. And to anyone out there who think that by getting a lapband is "the easy option", I would say, think again. It is by no means the easy route, and I have yet to prove that it will work for me.

My first fill!

I had my first fill  today, and it was a wonderful day out :)) I went up to Upper Pembroke Street, where Dr Chris De Bruyne holds his monthly aftercare class. There was a huge table in the waiting room and we all sat around swapping stories and experiences, it was great. Then I went in to see my surgeons aid and he was soooooo nice I could have stayed in there all day talking to him if had let me. I got a mole removed off my face (all part of the big transformation..!) and he was so nice, giving me advice about it and everything. Then he weighed me and told me that according to his scales I am down 15lbs since surgery.. but I dont know if I trust his scales to be honest, I like my own!! So it wasnt sore getting it done, just a bit uncomfortable when he was pushing on my port. I asked him how many cc's are in a helioast evolution band and he said that they had been tested up to 20mls, so it was just case of how much I needed in mine. So I am on liquids for two days now but I am going to try and do ten days, because I am returning to work after being off with a bad back for almost 11 months and I want to have lost a bit more before I go back. All in all I am happy with how it went and it definitely has renewed my ambition for success. I am really happy I got this done now, as for the last two weeks I have almost felt like it was pointless. Happy bunny all round :))

Have to stop thinking like a fat girl.

Hi-didly-Hi!! Ok, to day I dont think I had a great day, I had two scrambled eggs and a sausages for my breakfast, well chewd but i shouldnt have had it. Then for my dinner I had a tiny portion of meal, some mash potatos and cabbage. I had it all well mashed with white sauce and gravy, and it went down well. But it is my latenight picking that is KILLING me and it is getting me DOWN.
Tonight I had some Tuc crackers and some cream cheese and then I had a Twix. WTF??? What is wrong with me that I just cannot say NO. Then I had a cup of hot chocolate before I went to bed and it had a spoon of sugar in it. This not the way I wanted this to happen and I am sooooo mad with myself for making wrong choices.
Tomorrow is another brand new day and a brand new band day. today is gone. Tomorrow is yet to come. I have to make those choices and stick to the plan. It is only I can achieve this for myself.
I am getting married in June 23rd 2012, and I want to be 10 stone (140lbs) for my wedding. We are having a spectacular wedding in the Canarie Islands and I am planning the most luxurious venue and food.  I want everything to be perfect, I got this band in, to help me live the dreams I always had as a young girl growing up and being told I was chubby when I WASNT> But if the shoe fits wear it I thought to myself. The more my parents refused to give me sweets and treats, I craved them. I was in the tuck shop in school filling my face with all sorts of stuff and then they had no control over that and I piled on the weight. I was bullied in school by one boy, who used to roar " SUMO" down the corridor when I walked by. My self confidence shattered and to this day I struggle in social situations, Well I want that to STOP,  I want to walk into a room and turn heads. I want to wear trendy clothes and for once be seen as a "hotty". I plan on getting my teeth done in Turkey when I have lost all the weight, its 5000 euro for a full set of porcelain veneers over there and they are excellent dentists, my fiance's Aunty got hers done and they are beautiful.. compared to 25,000 euro over here I think its worth it!
I am annoyed the weight isn't coming off as quick as I want it to, so I am taking drastic steps to move it along.
1) One cup containers for all my meals,
2)low carb high protein.
3) 2 litres water per day.
4) skimmed milk at night with some splenda and low fat chocolate.
5? walking for at leaset on hour a day.
6) taking all my supplemets and vitamins.
7)Everything as low fat and sugar free as possible.
Please people feel free to leave your comments, its great to get feedback from you.
lOVE YOU ALL AND THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING MY BLOG XXXXXXXXXXX

18 days post op, 12.8lbs down!!!

Hi people! I have been having a busy week so I am sorry I have not updated you recently on my progress. This new "active me" is a busy girl!! I have discovered some new foods that have really helped me on my journey that are available in Ireland (compared to all of the American foods suggested on some sites) and I have also moved on to the "mushys" until next Tuesday, although I am actually considering staying on them until next Friday to give myself an extra boost. I have been enjoying cheesy omelettes, two eggs and a tiny bit of butter and about a tablespoon of cheese and they have been going down a treat. There is approx 157 cals in two average eggs and about 14g of protein so it is a good choice for your mushys. I have also been enjoying soups, smoothies and yogurts, and I also found the crackers they gave us in the hospital before we left and these have been a great substitute for bread for me. They do them in Tescos and they are called Dutch crispbreads and they are in the lighter choices range. They are lovely with sugar free jam, light cheese spread or just even a little  low fat butter.
The other thing that has really helped me has been putting some cordial into my water and I have ended up drinking loads of water as it has added some flavour. My favorite is the Tesco Finest Elderflower and apple it is not sugar free but for the little drop you put in its worth it of you get your water down you!
I had my first meal out today, and I tried to make the best choice I could on the menu. I had Monkfish medallions in a chili cream sauce (they were lovely) and although it wasn't "mushy" I chewed it really well until it was. My biggest vice is STILL snacking in the evening, and although my water drinking has curbed it a little, I know this is my danger time still. I find I am never hungry in the mornings, but it is the evening that I always tend to snack.. It drives me mad.
I suppose I havent done too bad so far with my weight loss, I have only 1.2lbs to go before I have my first stone gone... WOOHOOO!! I would love to hear your comments and questions if you have any folks, and I will try and keep you updated as much as I can! Cheerio, your fat friend xxx

day 9 post-op

Hi there people, I am just dropping you a quick note to let you know how today went. Well I got up today and I had an Actimel to start the day. It was slow to get down I must admit. I then had a muller rice for my lunch which was quite good, and a half a bowl of lovely home made soup (roasted red lentil and spicy sweet potato) and I managed half a bowl of that. Then I had a banana milk, low fat, and then later on I had a weight watchers mousse. Then tonight I sabotaged all my efforts by having two chocolate sponge fingers and some hot chocolate before I go to bed. I am pissed off at my food choices and If i am going to loose this weight that has to change and quickly. I did do a great walk, around 3 miles. loved it and felt really fresh after it. First of many.,,

6 Days Post op and PROUD :)

Well HELLO people!! I am so so sorry, I have not been on here in a while. A lot has happened since I was last here, most significantly of all... Drum roll please... (lol!) I am OFFICIALLY a fully fledged Banded Beauty!! WOOHOO!! I made the journey to Belgium on the 14th of February 2011 (how romantic lol) and had the procedure on the 15th. We left home the night before and checked into The Radisson Blu in Dublin Airport as our flight was very early the next morning.  An anxious mind the night before had kept me awake and I was hoping for a nice sleep. That never happened.. I tossed and turned until the alarm went off the next morning at 4.30 and I hopped out of the bed like as though I had just gotten into it. Everything went fine as we checked in, we were flying with Ryanair, and I was worried as I had never flown with them before and we have all heard the horror story's right?!! We boarded the plane and after a short flight of a little over an hour we landed in Charleroi Airport. This was mistake number one. We bought two bus tickets into Brussels Midi to get a train out to Vilvoorde where the hotel we were staying in. The bus tickets were 13 euro each. We got onto the packed bus and were lucky to get two seats on it, not together but hey, we were on it and that was the main thing. Both of our seats were broken and it was really uncomfortable too so I couldn't wait to get off it.
We drove through horrible dilapidated suburbs with high rise flats everywhere until we got to the centre of Brussels. We got off the bus (THANK GOD!!) and crossed the road to the train station. We wandered around looking for our train and went and bought our tickets (5.60 euro for two) and tried to get directions to which train it was. It was  huge station and nobody seemed to speak English so I was growing increasingly frustrated at all of this, having little sleep and the added anxiety of what lay ahead of me.
So I made the executive decision to get a taxi (BIG mistake number 2..) so went out the back door of the station to find one. As we walked out I was suddenly aware of being in a dangerous situation. There were wino's, junkies and other "undesirables" all just hanging out in and around the door of the station. Now I am used to dealing with people like this in my job every day, but even the worst parts of Dublin City were no where near as bad as this. I was aware that I was carrying all the money for my surgery and also my spending money.. about 5000 euro in all. Not a good situation. So we hastily made our way past them and haled a Taxi. As we hopped in we said "Vilvoorde please". "Yes, yes, no problem, you are on holidays?" our taxi man asked as he incessantly cleared his nose by snorting, making my stomach turn. "Yes we are, just a short stay.." Eventually we landed at the Camponile Hotel, and went to pay him. I thought he said 16euro in French so I thought "ok, Il give him 20, as a tip." "No, No, FIFTY SEVEN"  he wrote on a piece of paper to make himself clear. I almost had a stroke. "Fifty seven Euro?" We were only in the taxi a little over twenty five minutes. Long story short folks, DO NOT GET A TAXI IN BELGIUM. EVER!!
SO we went into the Hotel, which was in an industrial estate..? and checked in. Our room was very clean and the bed was very comfortable but it was by no way luxurious. We dropped our bags and went for a walk to find a shop. There is one a short walk round to the left under the bridge. There is also an amazing Patisserie for all you cake lovers looking for your last bit of heaven;) However, even walking around, we felt people looking at us. I never felt safe there once. We bought biscuits and water for the room for a cup of tea. When we got back we fell asleep on the bed until Frederik knocked on our door at 7.00 that evening. Frederik is absolutely gorgeous with huge blue eyes and a dazzling smile. He told me to meet him in a meeting room in the hotel in 3 mins, and that there were four other patients there also. I was overjoyed when I heard this as I knew I wouldn't be on my own anymore.
In the room there were two other patients, both guys who were chatting away very relaxed drinking big mugs of beer. I couldn't believe it!! Then another girl came in and we all said hello etc. She was lovely.
So Fred just gave us a quick run down of does and donts and what was happening the next day. We paid him and all left to have dinner in the bar. He told us to eat, drink and smoke to out hearts content until midnight that night. And so we did :)) I had a lovely burger and chips with Bearnaise sauce and there was a desert buffet. The food was surprisingly good and very tasty, if a little dear.
We went to bed around midnight and again we tossed and turned. And then it was the big day..
dont mean to be gross ok ) I had a very loose bowel movement. As I ran back up the hall I could hear Frederik calling to me " Where are you going are you running away!" joking with me!
The next thing I knew I was being wheeled into the theatre and being given gas. Take a deep breath the anesthetist said.. and total blackness. I came around in the recovery room, and immediately told them I was in pain and I wanted a morphine shot, even though I wasn't but I knew I would be soon!! My throat was killing me but my mouth wasn't dry and I had no nausea or wind pain thank god. I could see my friend across the room and was glad to see was doing ok too. They wheeled me back up to the room and I spent the day drifting in and out of consciousness unaware of time or people. I felt like a train had ran over my stomach :) The other girl who was in the ward with us had been brought back before I had gone down, and we had been wondering what she had done although nobody would tell us as she was in great pain and was calling out and crying all the time. Turns out she had a band fitted too, good thing we didn't know that when we were about to go down or I would have been gone like the hammers of hell !! lol.
My partner came in that evening to see me but I slept a lot as I was still very drowsy. The next morning, just as I starting to congratulate myself on my bravery and resilience, a gang of nurses came in and shattered our piece. They began to take blood, remove our bandages and clean our wounds. It was horrible. Not because it was sore but because it was cold and I am ticklish.  Then she told me to take three deep breaths and hold the third one while she took out my drain. OH DEAR GOD THE PAIN OF IT!! but it was over quickly and I was delighted the worst was over.
We then got a taxi back to the Camponile to collect our bags and as we were staying in a hotel in Charleroi to near the airport we had to get another taxi. I knew it was going to be dear so I asked him before we left. He told me it would be "between 100 or 150 euro"..?! I was not happy with the huge difference so he said he would do it for 120. I hated giving him that money I swear to god.. anyways when we arrived at the hotel about 55 mins later we checked into our room. We were stating at the Best Western Hotel Aero 55. It has a three star rating LOL.. Faulty towers hadn't a patch on this place. Over the next few days we asked for ice, we were told they didn't have nay. We had to buy water from them, 6 euro a bottle (!) and when we asked where the tea service tray from our room was to make a cup of tea the receptionist arrived with a kettle. No cups, no saucers, no nothing. trying to get milk portions out of him was like trying to get blood from a stone.
We left early on Saturday morning and flew home, sweet home. The day after the operation was the worst as far as pain goes, you get better everyday after that. It is hard to get all your liquids down, and you can get a kind of windy pain if you don't drink really slowly, and it is agony getting in and out of bed. We were given soluble Paracetamol when we left, and five injections of Heparin which you have to administer every day for five days after the surgery, but I pulled the end off one and it spilt everywhere so I only had four! The staff in the hospital were lovely, I could not fault them at all, and Dr Chris and Frederik are the very professional and
also very nice good people. If I had to change anything I would never have flown into Charleroi, but as Aer Lingus were on strike when I was booking I had no choice but to go with Ryanair. It is a nightmare depending on taxis over there as they are a complete rip off but as I will never be back in Belgium again I am not too bothered about them, I thought it was a horrible desolate depressing country and there are shady characters hanging around on every corner. I'm six days post op now and I am delighted I did it, I am looking forward to losing the weight and being healthy. If anyone is considering going to Dr Chris De Bruyne for surgery and want any questions answered don't hesitate to get in touch, he is a brilliant surgeon and you will be in the best hands. I lost 4 lbs on my pre-op diet and now I am 9.5lbs down, 5.5lbs in less than a week!! Liquids are good, you don't get hungry so you can cope on them. I will let you all know how I am getting along and I will chat to you all soon!! Love and fat hugs, your favourite fat girl xxxxx