This is what I have been dreading, but I never thought it would really happen to me. I have no restriction even after my fill, and I am back to square one AGAIN. I cannot restrain myself from eating what I want, when I want it, and I am hoping that maybe after my next fill it will make a difference. I am also considering going for counselling to get to the root of my problem, and find out why food is my addiction and why I have this addiction. I am almost completely consumed by food, thinking about what I am going to eat next, when I am going to eat it, and always thinking of excuses to eat. I am also always thinking about "WHEN I lose the weight..." and I have out my whole life on hold waiting for that to happen, and I cannot afford to waste anymore of my time on it. Life is precious and should be lived. I am intelligent enough to realize all these things but when it comes down to it, food wins all the time. I weighed myself last night and I have out back on 5lbs of what I had lost, but then every scales I stand on say a different thing. I know I have not lost anything significant and I am returning to work after eleven months off with a back injury on Tuesday.. and I am frustrated and annoyed that I have not achieved more in my time off. I know it takes many bandsters up till their third or fourth fill to have restriction, so I haven't lost all hope in the band, but maybe in myself if anything.
Maybe therapy, counselling, or hypnosis will help me beat my demons..
On a positive note we have just moved house again and I am so loving my new surroundings, it is having a really positive affect on my moods (not that you would know reading this!) but I do believe that your surroundings have a direct impact on your health and moods, so I am happy about that. It is also just ten minutes from a lovely castle with huge grounds overlooking the Irish sea so I intend to walk there a lot.
I know I have blogged before about HOW I am going to change and what little changes I am going to make to achieve my results, but I have only ever stuck to them for a few days at a time and then I relapse. Its as frustrating and embarrassing for me as any situation could be to think that I do not possess the self discipline and will power to better myself in this way. But I am going to be optimistic, because the day that I cannot be optimistic is the day I give up on myself and I will NEVER do that. SO a new house, new job (well same job but new start!) so a clean slate.. for me. I am going to AIM to :
1) Drink two litres of water a day.
2) Walk for on hour in the castle everyday.
3)Eat no more than 1000 cals a day and PLAN my meals.
4) Take my multi vitamin everyday.
5) Get at least 8 hours sleep every night.
There is a direct link to lack of sleep and obesity, as when you are tired you eat to compensate for your energy loss. Makes sense really! I hope I can get back here next week and report some positive news. As today is Sunday, I am officially making Sunday my weigh in day. Today I weigh in at 207lbs.. My goal for next Sunday is to weigh in at 200lbs. I am going to try and walk during my lunch break at work with my ipod and hopefully little changes like that will make the difference. And to anyone out there who think that by getting a lapband is "the easy option", I would say, think again. It is by no means the easy route, and I have yet to prove that it will work for me.
Showing posts with label gastric band dr christiaan de bryne. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gastric band dr christiaan de bryne. Show all posts
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
6 Days Post op and PROUD :)
Well HELLO people!! I am so so sorry, I have not been on here in a while. A lot has happened since I was last here, most significantly of all... Drum roll please... (lol!) I am OFFICIALLY a fully fledged Banded Beauty!! WOOHOO!! I made the journey to Belgium on the 14th of February 2011 (how romantic lol) and had the procedure on the 15th. We left home the night before and checked into The Radisson Blu in Dublin Airport as our flight was very early the next morning. An anxious mind the night before had kept me awake and I was hoping for a nice sleep. That never happened.. I tossed and turned until the alarm went off the next morning at 4.30 and I hopped out of the bed like as though I had just gotten into it. Everything went fine as we checked in, we were flying with Ryanair, and I was worried as I had never flown with them before and we have all heard the horror story's right?!! We boarded the plane and after a short flight of a little over an hour we landed in Charleroi Airport. This was mistake number one. We bought two bus tickets into Brussels Midi to get a train out to Vilvoorde where the hotel we were staying in. The bus tickets were 13 euro each. We got onto the packed bus and were lucky to get two seats on it, not together but hey, we were on it and that was the main thing. Both of our seats were broken and it was really uncomfortable too so I couldn't wait to get off it.
We drove through horrible dilapidated suburbs with high rise flats everywhere until we got to the centre of Brussels. We got off the bus (THANK GOD!!) and crossed the road to the train station. We wandered around looking for our train and went and bought our tickets (5.60 euro for two) and tried to get directions to which train it was. It was huge station and nobody seemed to speak English so I was growing increasingly frustrated at all of this, having little sleep and the added anxiety of what lay ahead of me.
So I made the executive decision to get a taxi (BIG mistake number 2..) so went out the back door of the station to find one. As we walked out I was suddenly aware of being in a dangerous situation. There were wino's, junkies and other "undesirables" all just hanging out in and around the door of the station. Now I am used to dealing with people like this in my job every day, but even the worst parts of Dublin City were no where near as bad as this. I was aware that I was carrying all the money for my surgery and also my spending money.. about 5000 euro in all. Not a good situation. So we hastily made our way past them and haled a Taxi. As we hopped in we said "Vilvoorde please". "Yes, yes, no problem, you are on holidays?" our taxi man asked as he incessantly cleared his nose by snorting, making my stomach turn. "Yes we are, just a short stay.." Eventually we landed at the Camponile Hotel, and went to pay him. I thought he said 16euro in French so I thought "ok, Il give him 20, as a tip." "No, No, FIFTY SEVEN" he wrote on a piece of paper to make himself clear. I almost had a stroke. "Fifty seven Euro?" We were only in the taxi a little over twenty five minutes. Long story short folks, DO NOT GET A TAXI IN BELGIUM. EVER!!
SO we went into the Hotel, which was in an industrial estate..? and checked in. Our room was very clean and the bed was very comfortable but it was by no way luxurious. We dropped our bags and went for a walk to find a shop. There is one a short walk round to the left under the bridge. There is also an amazing Patisserie for all you cake lovers looking for your last bit of heaven;) However, even walking around, we felt people looking at us. I never felt safe there once. We bought biscuits and water for the room for a cup of tea. When we got back we fell asleep on the bed until Frederik knocked on our door at 7.00 that evening. Frederik is absolutely gorgeous with huge blue eyes and a dazzling smile. He told me to meet him in a meeting room in the hotel in 3 mins, and that there were four other patients there also. I was overjoyed when I heard this as I knew I wouldn't be on my own anymore.
In the room there were two other patients, both guys who were chatting away very relaxed drinking big mugs of beer. I couldn't believe it!! Then another girl came in and we all said hello etc. She was lovely.
So Fred just gave us a quick run down of does and donts and what was happening the next day. We paid him and all left to have dinner in the bar. He told us to eat, drink and smoke to out hearts content until midnight that night. And so we did :)) I had a lovely burger and chips with Bearnaise sauce and there was a desert buffet. The food was surprisingly good and very tasty, if a little dear.
We went to bed around midnight and again we tossed and turned. And then it was the big day..
dont mean to be gross ok ) I had a very loose bowel movement. As I ran back up the hall I could hear Frederik calling to me " Where are you going are you running away!" joking with me!
The next thing I knew I was being wheeled into the theatre and being given gas. Take a deep breath the anesthetist said.. and total blackness. I came around in the recovery room, and immediately told them I was in pain and I wanted a morphine shot, even though I wasn't but I knew I would be soon!! My throat was killing me but my mouth wasn't dry and I had no nausea or wind pain thank god. I could see my friend across the room and was glad to see was doing ok too. They wheeled me back up to the room and I spent the day drifting in and out of consciousness unaware of time or people. I felt like a train had ran over my stomach :) The other girl who was in the ward with us had been brought back before I had gone down, and we had been wondering what she had done although nobody would tell us as she was in great pain and was calling out and crying all the time. Turns out she had a band fitted too, good thing we didn't know that when we were about to go down or I would have been gone like the hammers of hell !! lol.
My partner came in that evening to see me but I slept a lot as I was still very drowsy. The next morning, just as I starting to congratulate myself on my bravery and resilience, a gang of nurses came in and shattered our piece. They began to take blood, remove our bandages and clean our wounds. It was horrible. Not because it was sore but because it was cold and I am ticklish. Then she told me to take three deep breaths and hold the third one while she took out my drain. OH DEAR GOD THE PAIN OF IT!! but it was over quickly and I was delighted the worst was over.
We then got a taxi back to the Camponile to collect our bags and as we were staying in a hotel in Charleroi to near the airport we had to get another taxi. I knew it was going to be dear so I asked him before we left. He told me it would be "between 100 or 150 euro"..?! I was not happy with the huge difference so he said he would do it for 120. I hated giving him that money I swear to god.. anyways when we arrived at the hotel about 55 mins later we checked into our room. We were stating at the Best Western Hotel Aero 55. It has a three star rating LOL.. Faulty towers hadn't a patch on this place. Over the next few days we asked for ice, we were told they didn't have nay. We had to buy water from them, 6 euro a bottle (!) and when we asked where the tea service tray from our room was to make a cup of tea the receptionist arrived with a kettle. No cups, no saucers, no nothing. trying to get milk portions out of him was like trying to get blood from a stone.
We left early on Saturday morning and flew home, sweet home. The day after the operation was the worst as far as pain goes, you get better everyday after that. It is hard to get all your liquids down, and you can get a kind of windy pain if you don't drink really slowly, and it is agony getting in and out of bed. We were given soluble Paracetamol when we left, and five injections of Heparin which you have to administer every day for five days after the surgery, but I pulled the end off one and it spilt everywhere so I only had four! The staff in the hospital were lovely, I could not fault them at all, and Dr Chris and Frederik are the very professional and
also very nice good people. If I had to change anything I would never have flown into Charleroi, but as Aer Lingus were on strike when I was booking I had no choice but to go with Ryanair. It is a nightmare depending on taxis over there as they are a complete rip off but as I will never be back in Belgium again I am not too bothered about them, I thought it was a horrible desolate depressing country and there are shady characters hanging around on every corner. I'm six days post op now and I am delighted I did it, I am looking forward to losing the weight and being healthy. If anyone is considering going to Dr Chris De Bruyne for surgery and want any questions answered don't hesitate to get in touch, he is a brilliant surgeon and you will be in the best hands. I lost 4 lbs on my pre-op diet and now I am 9.5lbs down, 5.5lbs in less than a week!! Liquids are good, you don't get hungry so you can cope on them. I will let you all know how I am getting along and I will chat to you all soon!! Love and fat hugs, your favourite fat girl xxxxx
We drove through horrible dilapidated suburbs with high rise flats everywhere until we got to the centre of Brussels. We got off the bus (THANK GOD!!) and crossed the road to the train station. We wandered around looking for our train and went and bought our tickets (5.60 euro for two) and tried to get directions to which train it was. It was huge station and nobody seemed to speak English so I was growing increasingly frustrated at all of this, having little sleep and the added anxiety of what lay ahead of me.
So I made the executive decision to get a taxi (BIG mistake number 2..) so went out the back door of the station to find one. As we walked out I was suddenly aware of being in a dangerous situation. There were wino's, junkies and other "undesirables" all just hanging out in and around the door of the station. Now I am used to dealing with people like this in my job every day, but even the worst parts of Dublin City were no where near as bad as this. I was aware that I was carrying all the money for my surgery and also my spending money.. about 5000 euro in all. Not a good situation. So we hastily made our way past them and haled a Taxi. As we hopped in we said "Vilvoorde please". "Yes, yes, no problem, you are on holidays?" our taxi man asked as he incessantly cleared his nose by snorting, making my stomach turn. "Yes we are, just a short stay.." Eventually we landed at the Camponile Hotel, and went to pay him. I thought he said 16euro in French so I thought "ok, Il give him 20, as a tip." "No, No, FIFTY SEVEN" he wrote on a piece of paper to make himself clear. I almost had a stroke. "Fifty seven Euro?" We were only in the taxi a little over twenty five minutes. Long story short folks, DO NOT GET A TAXI IN BELGIUM. EVER!!
SO we went into the Hotel, which was in an industrial estate..? and checked in. Our room was very clean and the bed was very comfortable but it was by no way luxurious. We dropped our bags and went for a walk to find a shop. There is one a short walk round to the left under the bridge. There is also an amazing Patisserie for all you cake lovers looking for your last bit of heaven;) However, even walking around, we felt people looking at us. I never felt safe there once. We bought biscuits and water for the room for a cup of tea. When we got back we fell asleep on the bed until Frederik knocked on our door at 7.00 that evening. Frederik is absolutely gorgeous with huge blue eyes and a dazzling smile. He told me to meet him in a meeting room in the hotel in 3 mins, and that there were four other patients there also. I was overjoyed when I heard this as I knew I wouldn't be on my own anymore.
In the room there were two other patients, both guys who were chatting away very relaxed drinking big mugs of beer. I couldn't believe it!! Then another girl came in and we all said hello etc. She was lovely.
So Fred just gave us a quick run down of does and donts and what was happening the next day. We paid him and all left to have dinner in the bar. He told us to eat, drink and smoke to out hearts content until midnight that night. And so we did :)) I had a lovely burger and chips with Bearnaise sauce and there was a desert buffet. The food was surprisingly good and very tasty, if a little dear.
We went to bed around midnight and again we tossed and turned. And then it was the big day..
dont mean to be gross ok ) I had a very loose bowel movement. As I ran back up the hall I could hear Frederik calling to me " Where are you going are you running away!" joking with me!
The next thing I knew I was being wheeled into the theatre and being given gas. Take a deep breath the anesthetist said.. and total blackness. I came around in the recovery room, and immediately told them I was in pain and I wanted a morphine shot, even though I wasn't but I knew I would be soon!! My throat was killing me but my mouth wasn't dry and I had no nausea or wind pain thank god. I could see my friend across the room and was glad to see was doing ok too. They wheeled me back up to the room and I spent the day drifting in and out of consciousness unaware of time or people. I felt like a train had ran over my stomach :) The other girl who was in the ward with us had been brought back before I had gone down, and we had been wondering what she had done although nobody would tell us as she was in great pain and was calling out and crying all the time. Turns out she had a band fitted too, good thing we didn't know that when we were about to go down or I would have been gone like the hammers of hell !! lol.
My partner came in that evening to see me but I slept a lot as I was still very drowsy. The next morning, just as I starting to congratulate myself on my bravery and resilience, a gang of nurses came in and shattered our piece. They began to take blood, remove our bandages and clean our wounds. It was horrible. Not because it was sore but because it was cold and I am ticklish. Then she told me to take three deep breaths and hold the third one while she took out my drain. OH DEAR GOD THE PAIN OF IT!! but it was over quickly and I was delighted the worst was over.
We then got a taxi back to the Camponile to collect our bags and as we were staying in a hotel in Charleroi to near the airport we had to get another taxi. I knew it was going to be dear so I asked him before we left. He told me it would be "between 100 or 150 euro"..?! I was not happy with the huge difference so he said he would do it for 120. I hated giving him that money I swear to god.. anyways when we arrived at the hotel about 55 mins later we checked into our room. We were stating at the Best Western Hotel Aero 55. It has a three star rating LOL.. Faulty towers hadn't a patch on this place. Over the next few days we asked for ice, we were told they didn't have nay. We had to buy water from them, 6 euro a bottle (!) and when we asked where the tea service tray from our room was to make a cup of tea the receptionist arrived with a kettle. No cups, no saucers, no nothing. trying to get milk portions out of him was like trying to get blood from a stone.
We left early on Saturday morning and flew home, sweet home. The day after the operation was the worst as far as pain goes, you get better everyday after that. It is hard to get all your liquids down, and you can get a kind of windy pain if you don't drink really slowly, and it is agony getting in and out of bed. We were given soluble Paracetamol when we left, and five injections of Heparin which you have to administer every day for five days after the surgery, but I pulled the end off one and it spilt everywhere so I only had four! The staff in the hospital were lovely, I could not fault them at all, and Dr Chris and Frederik are the very professional and
also very nice good people. If I had to change anything I would never have flown into Charleroi, but as Aer Lingus were on strike when I was booking I had no choice but to go with Ryanair. It is a nightmare depending on taxis over there as they are a complete rip off but as I will never be back in Belgium again I am not too bothered about them, I thought it was a horrible desolate depressing country and there are shady characters hanging around on every corner. I'm six days post op now and I am delighted I did it, I am looking forward to losing the weight and being healthy. If anyone is considering going to Dr Chris De Bruyne for surgery and want any questions answered don't hesitate to get in touch, he is a brilliant surgeon and you will be in the best hands. I lost 4 lbs on my pre-op diet and now I am 9.5lbs down, 5.5lbs in less than a week!! Liquids are good, you don't get hungry so you can cope on them. I will let you all know how I am getting along and I will chat to you all soon!! Love and fat hugs, your favourite fat girl xxxxx
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Day 1 Pre-op Diet
I bounced out of bed yesterday morning full of enthusiasm for my first official day on my pre-op diet. I thought it was the day before but I counted my dates wrong! I began yesterday by having two cups of tea before I left the house and I made a double shake to take with me for the journey. I know it sounds like alot but there is only 500mls of soya milk in a double so they are not that big, but I knew I would need to do that because I was not going to get a chance to have lunch and possibly not dinner either as I had loads of stuff to do and people to see. So off I went and no sooner than I had it down my neck than I began to feel nauseas and mega-bloated, it was horrible.
However it turned out I was right and didnt get a chance to have anything to eat at all and I ended up in Burger King on the Motorway at 20.00 STARVING.. (I will never be caught out again without healthy snacks and I will make it a priority to eat a healthy meal when I need one) so I had a Piri Piri Chicken sandwich with NO mayo and a diet coke instead, 370 cals and approx 6g of fat I think. I was annoyed at myself for not being prepared but I guess this is a learning process and as long as I have learnt from it it will be ok.
Today I had porridge for breakfast made on skim milk and a banana, a bagel with low fat cheese spread and a slice of ham for breakfast and a bowl of home made celeriac soup, and then tonight I had a chicken salad and three crisp breads made with some light salad cream.
I have had the worst stomach cramps all day and I have been to the w/c alot, sorry if that is tmi! I have a head ache and a very bad wind pain, so all in all I feel pretty crappy. I am considering just making a big vat of soup and just eating fruit and lots of lean protein.. I feel I need a more "set" diet, so I will see how tomorrow goes.
However it turned out I was right and didnt get a chance to have anything to eat at all and I ended up in Burger King on the Motorway at 20.00 STARVING.. (I will never be caught out again without healthy snacks and I will make it a priority to eat a healthy meal when I need one) so I had a Piri Piri Chicken sandwich with NO mayo and a diet coke instead, 370 cals and approx 6g of fat I think. I was annoyed at myself for not being prepared but I guess this is a learning process and as long as I have learnt from it it will be ok.
Today I had porridge for breakfast made on skim milk and a banana, a bagel with low fat cheese spread and a slice of ham for breakfast and a bowl of home made celeriac soup, and then tonight I had a chicken salad and three crisp breads made with some light salad cream.
I have had the worst stomach cramps all day and I have been to the w/c alot, sorry if that is tmi! I have a head ache and a very bad wind pain, so all in all I feel pretty crappy. I am considering just making a big vat of soup and just eating fruit and lots of lean protein.. I feel I need a more "set" diet, so I will see how tomorrow goes.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Mourning the loss of a dear friend.
Hi guys, I had to come on here and tell you all that tonight I ate the last of the worst foods that has made me fat, unhappy, unhealthy, and miserable. Tomorrow I start my pre-op diet and I am getting my band in 16 days time. I am very positive about it now.I am like "yes, I am being banded, I am going to change my life around, and I am going to svelte sexy and confident. I am READY to do this!!
I bought some celeriac today and I am going to make some healthy soups, i got some fat free yogurt for snacking and maybe for breakfast too with some berries and a banana for breakfast. I aim to drink at least two ltrs of water a day, and have baked potatoes and low fat fillings in them with salads, salads and more salads. I will touch base tomorrow lads. and let you know what I am eating and how I am feeling.
Love and fat kisses xxx
I bought some celeriac today and I am going to make some healthy soups, i got some fat free yogurt for snacking and maybe for breakfast too with some berries and a banana for breakfast. I aim to drink at least two ltrs of water a day, and have baked potatoes and low fat fillings in them with salads, salads and more salads. I will touch base tomorrow lads. and let you know what I am eating and how I am feeling.
Love and fat kisses xxx
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