Pretend you're perfect and smile..?

Hi everyone, just touching base with you all. Very down in the dumps today, not having a good day at all. Definitely eating less, hopefully that will be reflected on the scales this Saterday! I am just about to go and pay my deposit of 250 euro to Dr Chris so I am quite excited about that, I still cannot believe that I am actually having surgery to overcome my weight issues and that I don't have the self control to do it by myself. I am feeling very disappointed and really sad about that.. I don't how I got to this stage. Does anyone else out there that got a lap band feel like this? I am just going to have to accept in my mind that this is what I have to do, and get on with it but I am finding it hard, I have to admit. I had opened a Twitter account to be able to tweet my progress, but I just checked it and I had already been tracked down by my sister-in-law and was being cyber stalked so I had to close it. It is unfortunate that I feel I have to hide what I am doing but that is just the way it is in my family. Never admit your failures and never highlight your imperfections. Just get on with it. Pretend you're perfect and smile. I can feel my new years resolution of being more positive slipping through my fingers as I type but seriously, do any of you ever just get sick of trying to please everyone else ALL the bloody time??
I have filled in my pre-op questionnaire and emailed it back to Dr Chris, so fingers crossed there will not be an issue with the pain medication I am on for my back. Does anyone know of a good liquid painkiller available in Ireland? I'm going to google it.. Il get back to you later ok ;) Fond Fatties Forever xx