I have to change my life around...

By writing this blog I hope to face my demons head on and work on them one by one. Ok, so we have established that I am a compulsive eater with poor body image and zero self confidence. As i have already mentioned I have done every diet known to man, and while I might succeed for a short time, I need a long term solution to my weight problem so I can start living my life to the fullest and start giving back to those around me, something I feel that I have never done, as my weight has always held me back from even the smallest things like going shopping with my Mum or bringing my Dad to Mass. I always feel like if I go somewhere and someone sees me I will be an embarrassment to them because of my size. Now I am sure you are wondering what size I am. I am 220 lbs and 5 foot 6. I have a bmi of 35. I hope to lose a little over a third of my total body weight and my goal weight is 140 lbs. I am suffering from prolapsed disks in my back because of a car crash I was in a few years ago and it was since then that my weight has really sky rocketed this time. And I feel that I am not doing what a normal 30 year old woman should be doing. I do not have any pastimes as such, I have alienated myself from all of my friends as I am so ashamed of my size and I no longer go out for a drink or even to lunch. I would love to be able to wake up in the morning and be happy with what I see in the mirror. Throw on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt and do and go to where ever I want that day without feeling anxious or nervous. It's not too much to ask! So I am going to have lap band surgery and hopefully regain my lost years and self confidence. Are you on a diet? Are you considering lap band surgery? Or are you struggling with self confidence and self belief the same as I am? Whatever your story, please get in touch, leave a comment or say hello. I would love to hear from others about their journey to find themselves :)