Ok. I seem to have been on a constant whinge-fest since i started this blog but I am just venting my frustrations at how people view, and treat people who have a weight problem. I woke up this morning excited about my older brother and sister-in-law coming to stay with us for a few days. I have to say, out of all my sister's in law she is my favourite and I always have great time for her. So after dinner I told her i had bought my wedding dress ( I am getting married in 2012!) and I showed it to her. Now the dress I bought is a US size 10 and I am currently wearing a UK size 18-20, so DUH I know it dose not fit... But IT WILL by the time the wedding comes. So she looked at it, looked at me and said "Jeez, you have a lot of work to do!". DUH (again!) so then she proceeded to sit beside me all evening and tell me rather loudly how fabulous I could be if I lost weight, and did I remember my 21st? (9 years ago, I was a skinny bitch.. of course I remember..!)
Then she said "Imagine, everyone will be thinking you are going to be huge and not really great in your dress, and then when you turn up you will have lost all the weight and you will be fabulous!!".. I didn't know what to say to be honest, but it just reinforced in my mind what they all must think when they look at me. I always tried to convince myself that at least my family could see me for me, but apparently not. They just see a fat floundering woman who cant get her shit together and stop filling her face.
I wouldn't mind but this woman is no skinny minny herself, she is a good 16-18. Maybe she was saying it out of concern, but it didn't come across like that. I have really come to the stage where I feel I am a spectacle and instead of getting the support I need from my family I am getting negativity and hurt.
I cant wait to see the look on their faces when I lose all my weight and KEEP IT OFF FOR GOOD :)
Night night fellow bandsters, may all your dreams come true and may your lives be filled with happiness ;)
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