Howdy folks, I hope you all had an amazing Christmas! Our day was really quiet, myself and my other half woke up around ten and had some breakfast. Well, he had some breakfast (a typical Irish breakfast of sausages, rashers, eggs, toast etc!) and I decided to have a glass of Bucks Fizz. Bad idea after taking two painkillers for my bad back on an empty stomach... So after I had vomited I decided i really had to stop being so STUPID and doing stuff like that ( I'm in my thirty's right?!) so I had a slice of toast and after an hour or two I could take some more painkillers. (I am not a junkie don't get me wrong, but unless I have painkillers for my back at the moment I cannot walk around. This is another reason I need to get this surgery, and fast. For every lb you are over weight it adds three lb's of pressure to EACH of your disks.) So by the time dinner was served my appetite was not the best and I struggled through half of my dinner and felt bad after Mum had spent so long cooking it.
Then I began to wonder, do I eat to please people or because I do not want to offend by refusing? How many times did I really not NEED something to eat and ate it anyways because I didn't want to offend someone who had prepared it? When did I stop listening to my body and just ate because society tells us we should be eating? (three meals a day etc..) I know from when I have lost weight previously that I need to eat SO LITTLE to shift the pounds, it was unsustainable without an aid. And there is no way I could lose it by eating three "normal sized" meals a day. I must have the metabolism of a slug!! I calculated my Basic Metabolic Rate before ( the least amount of calories it takes my body to rest and support organ function) and it was 1650. If I get a band fitted I will only be able to take in between 800 and 1200 a day (although it differs for everyone) so I a just wondering... "Who is telling me lies?" Really, if these calculations are correct, does that mean that if I get a band that eventually my organs will fail from lack of nutrition? and if so, how come people have been banded for years and live perfectly healthy lives? The mind boggles. I would love somebody to answer my question, because it throws into question everything we are thought about nutrition from an early age. So today is St Stephens Day and I woke up feeling a little groggy and my back was a bit sore. So I took an anti-inflammatory and a pain killer and all I ate today was some toast and a few chocolates. What poor nutrition.. I really a looking forward to changing my ways. I am making some turkey soup though which will be nice and nutritious so I will have some later. Normally I would like a few drinks over the Christmas but this year it is different. I don't feel well enough to have a drink if that makes sense, and it is all because I feel so tired and heavy. Carrying this weight is not doing me any good. I feel really awkward this Christmas even around my family because I feel like they are all looking at me with pity, and it's so annoying. I
want to have my banded fitted and get my life back, and stop being this big pathetic mess. Roll on the 28th Of January!!
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