Hi there, I am beginning this blog to share with you my journey to happiness. I am nervous, anxious, excited and optimistic. I am trying to push all the negativity that has been programmed into my brain over all these years away, and reprogramming my mind to a better, cleaner, more productive way of thinking.
I will first tell you a little about myself. I am 30 years old and I am the youngest of a large family. I am the annoying little sister they all had to bear growing up :) I love my family and my parents dearly, and I have 21 nieces and nephews. I have no children of my own, but I have two dogs and a fiance.
I always had a huge food influence in my life beginning with learning to cook with mum at an early age and finding that i had a real flair for flavors and ingredients. Every family occasion was based around food (and good food at that) and so I related food with happiness and celebration form an early age. My Mum has a wonderful figure after having so many kids and at the age 76 i believe she is only becoming more beautiful with age. She is my best friend and soul mate, and very happy for me deciding to have a lap band fitted as she knows what an impact my weight is having on my life and my health, both physically and emotionally. It is only my mum and my fiance who will know about my WLS and they will be accompanying me to Belgium in January.
I have been overweight nearly all of my life and would never have been classed as a particularly pretty girl.I was badly bullied in school by a boy in my year who use to stand around me with a big bunch of his croonies in school and shout "SUMO" from the top of his lings and point at me. There was a point I wanted to die as I could not take anymore. He really destroyed my teenage years and all of my self confidence. I went through an unfortunate phase around 12 years old and chopped my lovely long hair off and was constantly mistaken for a boy. I was always big apart from when I starved myself for my Debutante Ball in the final year in school, and then when I got gallstones. The weight literally fell off me, and for the first time in my life I was a skinny minny!! It was the best thing that ever happend to me and I would have them back any day!! I lost roughly 60lbs and after working abroad for the summer I had thighs you could crack nuts between. I was twenty one at the time, and all the girls who used to sneer at me in school for being big were gobsmacked when they saw me. However, of course, after a year or two all the weight piled back on and and another stone or so to put with it. I was very depressed and ashamed to say the least. After that I moved to the city and worked in the Airlines for many years. Airport food was not good for someone on a diet, and i popped on another bit.
I was in a very bad relationship at the time and turned to food for comfort. Chinese takeaways? Check. Indian takeaways? Check. Dominos Pizza? Check, check. Huge flabby arse, spare tire and no self-esteem? Check, check, check. So I went on Reductil and lost all of the weight again,( and that horrible boyfriend!) only a little over three years ago. I lierally couldnt look at food. I lost nearly four stone to take me down to just over 11 stone or 154lbs. Not bad for my 5 foot 7 frame. Then, I met himself, my other half on holidays. After a brief courtship (Awwww!) We moved in together and indulged in all the romantic meals we cooked, the bottles of wine infront of the tele, our holidays abroad were just food fests and I have managed to reach an all time high of just over 15 stone. I was in a car crash two years ago and i messed up my back really bad in it, so my physical excercise has gone down to zilch. I do not socialise anymore as I am ashamed of my size, and my self esteem is zero, I am eating like a horse, and snacking, and eating chocolate and crisps, and I am ruining myself and my life.I have done all the diets before, weight watchers, south beach, atkins, you name it iv tried it. I can lose it again, but I WILL put it back on again, so I need a tool, such as the gastric band to help me. For anyone who thinks this is the easy way out, I cant tell you it certainly is not.
Even though a person gets a lap band they still have to diet and excercise, even more so after they get the band as they need to know they are getting enough protein, water, fibre, etc.
So I suppose you could say I was destined to always struggle with my weight but I have now decided to do something about it, It is drastic action to go under general anesthetic and I am paying 4,500 for it, but I will end up leading a miserable life If I do not do this now. Please subscribe to my blog and leave your comments, thay are all welcome. I would love to meet new friends who have made the same journey as I am embarking on, or who are just starting out like I am, We can help each other!!
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